As the school year draws to a close, like every summer, I find myself scrambling, stressing and wondering how am I going to make ends meet for my little familia.

During the school year I make about 200 a week tutoring give or take 25-50 dollars. This means that in a month I make less than what my rent is. Factor in utilities, food for myself and two growing children, and transportation and yeah – you can see it’s gonna be a struggle. That is not even counting my poor attempts to pay off debts. I receive child support for one of my two children. Get another oh 100 dollars a month from my political blog and still end up borrowing from one place to pay something somewhere else (like the other editor on the website).

So far I have booked $150 worth of tutoring for the month of June and $200 for the month of August. Far below what I need to barely survive. The mini heatwave we had in NYC already raised by electricity bill by $40.

This morning I tweeted how I didn’t know how I was going to make it through July and August (oh and the rest of this month). ?Yesterday I tweeted that I would probably need to get another job for July and August. Which I probably will do. A follower suggested I don’t spend money on anything unnecessary. Which got me to thinking what exactly is unnecessary – not needed. So I looked at my shopping list and my to do list.

Shampoo – I can probably skip this for now
Pan – I have eggs in the fridge so that should be good enough for breakfast
Shaver – Ay who needs to shave their legs/pits
Avocado : See pan also I have rice in my pantry
Veggies/Fruits – I have one banana and some beans in the pantry
Sunblock – I guess going to the beach is not in my future or I can burn

flowers/cards – I guess those are not needed. I can make a card for baby daddies and amor de mi vida for Father’s Day

Vino : I haven’t had vino since I was in Los Angeles in late April/early May

Get nails done : I have a gift certificate for this but tip is extra. Cut.

Get hair cut : Haven’t had a haircut in about a year now. Look into those free cuts students give in the city (but you have to tip no?) Ay just keep cutting own ends.

Pay off three debts I am trying to pay down : My credit is so fucked up already who cares?

Pay Internet : I just paid half of what I owed so that they wouldn’t cut the internet and I could email the op-ed published in El Diario la Prensa and post other things to make a tiny amount of money/ Maybe I just need to rely on free wi-fi.

Pay Gas Bill : Not having gas sucked because then you have to buy prepared food outside which is more expensive than cooking your own food.

The twitter follower in question told me to look at my cell phone plan – I don’t pay for my cell phone plan at the moment thanks to a generous prize from Credo Mobile that will expire in September.

I was told to cut cable – I don’t have cable.

I am also travelling – which seems dumb no? Mind you they are for conferences and the airfare and housing is paid for as are some of the meals – but what about the meals that are not covered? Ground transport? These conferences have to do with my work as a media maker and an activist and also help me build deeper relationships with other people doing work/living like me but am feeling guilty about the vacation I took in late April/May with my income tax refund.

Maybe the broke ass don’t deserve vacations, conferences?

What is necessary in our lives not just for the survival of our bodies but the survival of our hearts/souls?

Ay and today is rent day.