One of my resolutions for the new year is to communicate better with people. By communicate better, I mean not via twitter, facebook, email, or text message. I want to have conversations with people on the phone and exchange letters.
6 days into the new year and I feel like a failure already.
Part of it, and it’s not something I admit to alot, is that calling people on the phone and sometimes even talking on the phone makes me really anxious. I will sometimes put off calls because I worry that I won’t have anything interesting to say, that the person on the other end will think I’m bored, will reject me.
The other part of it is having an almost 4 year old who is very active and very well 4. She thinks every phone call is from someone who is her friend or should be. In some ways I’m envious of that fearlessness but the reality is that for the 12 hours of the day that she is awake and with me, there is a constant noise level. Singing, music making, storytelling, playing and as soon as my phone rings, she stops and has to say hello. Just ask people who have had the pleasure of being on conference calls with me and her.
This also means that the times she is sleeping or when she is with her dad are the times I take to write, to blog and breath in a little silence. I need to find a way to make phone calls during that time too. Calls to amigas, tias, primas. No se…maybe I need to schedule better?
And then letters. I spend so much time on the computer that longhand writing, pen on paper feels like a luxury as well. I have been writing in my journal first thing in the morning. I want to add letters y cards to that routine. I have received so many lovely cards and notes from dear people and have poorly reciprocated. I want to change that too. I haven’t done very well with that resolution yet either…not a letter/note or card sent. But day 6 of the new year and all that. I worry about the price of stamps and when it comes down to it, milk comes before stamps pero que 44 cents verdad?
I also want to sit with people. Have cafe, wine, meals. I am thinking of some amazing people who live right here whom I do not see. I want to change that. Again, I get all anxious when I make plans to see people sometimes.
This one feels harder in some ways pero si, connect