One of my resolutions for the new year is to communicate better with people. By communicate better, I mean not via twitter, facebook, email, or text message. I want to have conversations with people on the phone and exchange letters.
6 days into the new year and I feel like a failure already.
Part of it, and it’s not something I admit to alot, is that calling people on the phone and sometimes even talking on the phone makes me really anxious. I will sometimes put off calls because I worry that I won’t have anything interesting to say, that the person on the other end will think I’m bored, will reject me.
The other part of it is having an almost 4 year old who is very active and very well 4. She thinks every phone call is from someone who is her friend or should be. In some ways I’m envious of that fearlessness but the reality is that for the 12 hours of the day that she is awake and with me, there is a constant noise level. Singing, music making, storytelling, playing and as soon as my phone rings, she stops and has to say hello. Just ask people who have had the pleasure of being on conference calls with me and her.
This also means that the times she is sleeping or when she is with her dad are the times I take to write, to blog and breath in a little silence. I need to find a way to make phone calls during that time too. Calls to amigas, tias, primas. No se…maybe I need to schedule better?
And then letters. I spend so much time on the computer that longhand writing, pen on paper feels like a luxury as well. I have been writing in my journal first thing in the morning. I want to add letters y cards to that routine. I have received so many lovely cards and notes from dear people and have poorly reciprocated. I want to change that too. I haven’t done very well with that resolution yet either…not a letter/note or card sent. But day 6 of the new year and all that. I worry about the price of stamps and when it comes down to it, milk comes before stamps pero que 44 cents verdad?
I also want to sit with people. Have cafe, wine, meals. I am thinking of some amazing people who live right here whom I do not see. I want to change that. Again, I get all anxious when I make plans to see people sometimes.
This one feels harder in some ways pero si, connect
“One of my resolutions for the new year is to communicate better with people. By communicate better, I mean not via twitter, facebook, email, or text message. I want to have conversations with people on the phone and exchange letters. ”
Keep at it. Social media was never meant to replace this, but to enhance it.
Social media was meant to enhance this, however, what is has done, is allow for those with no “social skills” to come out of the woodworks and either be the people who they really are, or always wanted to be. There are more modes of communication and instead of figuring out and/or mastering the previous ones, people are able to select their modes. We have the previously socially retarded now flooding the internet, which is both good and bad. Bad because people don’t know how to relate to each other in real- time, real life. People are now word counts, and snippets, and some things that were never meant to be said aloud. Sometimes I honestly feel like people are getting dumber. But at the same time, I’ve always been rather introverted, so I must admit that this is my comfort zone….writing…
Hmm no se. I am of the belief that all things should be said aloud hence my blog, my poetry and all the trouble they have caused, ja ja. I also think that social media has created community/connections for many people myself included. So I don’t mean to dis social media. Hell I use it so much. It has helped create bridges. People I have first “met” online have become close friends that I chat on the the phone with and a few blessed times a year sit with face to face. But I will admit that I use social media as an escape/excuse as well so I need to find balance. The resolution is not made as a criticism of anyone except myself.
Also “socially retarded” concerns me. Do you mean people who really have struggles in terms of socializing?
My comment was 1/2 in reference to myself so I apologize if it offended anyone. What I was trying to say was that instead of pushing people to, let’s say, get better at meeting people in person, speaking, interacting, the internet has stifled, or prevented altogether, some peoples’ growth. I am a writer, always have been. I am shy. When I have a lot to say, or something important, I’d rather write the person a letter. But the reason is NOT because I can NOT communicate [effectively] face-to-face. I just hate forgetting things. I need to go over it again and again and make sure the message has all the right words in the right order. I’m obsessive about this.
The socially retarded are simply those that are/have been slow to (or unable) acclimate to conditions involving communicating with people in person. Not by way of birth or anything, but merely a personal inhibition.
Yes … I agree too that things should be shared, if one feels they must come out.
and it is risky, but that’s part of the journey of being a writer..storyteller documenting one’s way. A beautiful idiosyncratic real alive one …
Este I hear you on not escaping, rooting for you, and connecting more voice to voice face to face .. without dissing social media al together reaching el balance ..
xo,
Ay Fabi, I feel like I am failing. So far I have written two letters and I haven’t really sat to have phone calls. So many of the people I want to/need to speak to are on the west coast (a hem) and the time difference and la vida always seems to get in the way. I have had you on my to call list for weeks!!! grrrr.
Abrazos
Two letters! That’s excellent
The time difference is no joke!
Failure doesn’t exist, I would argue … you’re kick ass and are trying to do a million things, and the phone calls you’ll get around to it, vas haber.
xo,
dbsm – I agree that it should be about pushing people to put themselves in uncomfortable situations or situations that aren’t natural to them. Sometimes that is downright unhealthy.
I used to be good at phone calls, conversations, letters. I just feel so out of it sometimes and feel so disconnected because of work and the kids. So no se, pushing myself a little out of my comfort zone feels needed.