Resolutions are easy to make and therefore easy to break. To be completely honest, I know I made some resolutions last year but I can remember one and I sort of stuck to it. That resolution was to write and phone people more often. I sent a few cards/letters out, mostly to my partner. As for phone calls, the only person I have been calling regularly is my partner because well that’s our main connection point until we are in the same city. And to be real, talking to him takes so much time and energy, that other phone calls can’t happen, especially between work and doing the single mami thing. Phone communication still gives me major anxiety too. It’s a resolution I want to make again this year but instead of seeing that, and other items on my mental to do list – I’ve decided this year to look at how the things I want to do, change, create fit into my wider life plan and break that plan up into manageable/realistic steps.
I’m not going to share my entire life plan here but I will say that part of my plan is to live with less stress. I tend to worry about everything and a lot of this is because of a scarcity of resources. Now some of these stressors and concerns are real like paying off debt, moving, taking good care of my kids. But within those spaces, I have to be gentler with myself and step back to make better decisions.
For example yesterday, I did some laundry, took a nap, took a walk, and kept on drinking champagne and watching a movie while my sister threw a tantrum over there not being any leftover mashed potatoes. I wrote in my personal journal and a small social journal I share with a small group of fellow mamas. I managed to book my younger daughter’s 5th birthday party, the first one with school friends, and negotiated splitting the cost with her father. I even went to bed early.
That’s not to say it all went well. I worried about how I didn’t blog here or on VivirLatino yesterday as I felt myself slip into sleep. My almost five year old threw a bedtime tantrum that I could have handled better. But today I was able to start again. I wrote for VivirLatino. I just wrote this post. My younger kid and I did a small lego project together and I was able to talk to my partner for a little bit.
So I guess if I had to wrap up my goals/plans into a neat resolution it would be that everyday is a chance to start again or continue and to be kinder to myself.
Are you doing the resolution thing? Why or why not?