Los Nenes At My Mother’s Table

I already wrote a heart rant over at VivirLatino sharing my thoughts on the contrived controversy around the Park 51 community center/mosque. Pero in the days following that post, in NYC, where I was born and bred (and have bred) things have gotten from hateful to horrific with violent anti-Islamic words and thoughts turning to violence.

First there was the attempted murder (because really when you slash someone’s throat you want to kill them) of a cab driver when he acknowledged his Muslim faith.

Then someone stumbling into a mosque in Queens and desecrating that house of worship with words and foul actions.

This last act of anti-Islamic hate really got me because when I first heard the news, I didn’t know where in Queens the mosque was and my concern was for the mosque just blocks away from my mother’s apartment, the mosque where nearly all of my tutoring students worship almost daily.

Those that follow me on twitter and facebook know that my tutoring is source of great stress, but those of you who also know me in person, know how much I value the young men and women, the children with whom I work almost daily. I don’t just do test prep with them. I don’t just reinforce skills and good habits. I don’t just push them, I try to fill in alot of the gaps. This is why I call what I do “radical tutoring” because I want to inspire them to do more than asked, to see themselves as part of communities and be accountable and hold others accountable.

It has been at my mother’s kitchen table where I have had young Muslim women discuss sexuality, assault, violence and harassment, some of it personally experienced by them, some of it because they are Muslim.

This latest hate act didn’t happen in the mosque where my students worship in fact, it seemed that the older students were not even aware of the rhetoric surrounding the community center in Downtown Manhattan and the actual violence that was targeting those that could be read as Muslim.

The header above was taken from a story in the latest New York Magazine. The title struck me as ridiculous and plain ole fucked up. Did the title refer to Muhammad, the great prophet of Islam? As if before there were no practicing Muslims in New York City/Manhattan? Or were they taking a more general and somewhat stereotypical portrayal of the followers of Islam? The article itself reads as a fluffy conversation with various opinions presented and the writer not taking one of his own but the title bothered me. I showed it to one of my High School students. She laughed at first, finding it silly. Then she looked at me earnestly, “Well, I’m not really a Muslim Muslim”.

And my heart broke a little.

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Azul RIP Con Rosado

Tienes que desaparecer como lo hizo el.
Out of sight
Out of mind
and you
remind me
that I was wearing you
when I met him.

Tienes que ir con tu hermana
la rosada
who also started to remind me too much
of what a failure I am at relationships.
A crear nuevas memorias
encima del cuerpo de otra mujer
who may have better luck
quien quizas transformara tu color de luto
en color de festival

Jubilido
Retirado

adios

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outlaw midwives vol. 2 call for submissions

From Guerrilla Mama Medicine

call for submissions

outlaw midwives zine vol. 2

focusing on pregnancy, birth, and the baby year

for and by: mothers, friends and allies of mothers, doulas, midwives, birthworkers, childbirth educators, childbirth advocates,

intention: to create a zine for pregnancy, birth, and the first year of motherhood centering the lives of working class, marginalized mothers and birthworkers.

submit: photos, drawings, visual art
poems, essays, fiction and non-fiction
tips, suggestions, lists of resources

check out the outlaw midwives manifesta and website: http://outlawmidwife.wordpress.com/

outlaw midwives: creating revolutionary communities of love

some suggestions for topics on which you can submit…but these are just suggestions…

suggestions for those trying to conceive. and for not conceiving. stories of conception, abortions and miscarriage.

what are the social, economic, legal consequences and limitations for marginalized mothers to make choices about how, when and where they will give birth.

tips for the first, second, third trimester. relationship with doctors, clinic, midwives, family, friends, etc.

how do we resist the high infant and mortality rates?

what are the ways that community could support the childbearing year, mothers and families?

how have you navigated through the systems of welfare, protective child services, hospitals, etc?

reflect on the state of midwifery today. what do you see as the positives and negatives? how has legalization and licensing affected mothers and families access to care?

what would you want to tell a soon to be mother about pregnancy, birth, and early motherhood? or write a letter to your pre-mother or pre-pregnant self about what you should expect. what didnt you expect to happen/learn/experience in pregnancy, birth, the baby year? write a letter to you daughter and/or son about what you learned/want to pass on about pregnancy, birth, baby year.

what was your personal experience/story of birth? pregnancy, the baby year?
what did you learn/are you learning from the baby year?

what do you wish someone had told you about early motherhood and/or being a birth worker?
what do you wish you could have said to someone, but didnt?
what is your vision/ideal of how pregnancy, birth, baby year could be?

what family/traditional wisdom did you receive about pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding? what practical tips do you have for working poor mothers?

breastfeeding vs. bottle. what are the social, biological and economic influences and consequences of the choice to breastfeed or bottle feed?

what to do with the placenta? placenta art, consumption, burials?

why did you become a birth worker? what has been the highlights of the experience? what have been the difficulties?

what does ‘outlaw midwife’ mean to you?

keep it simple

deadline halloween october 31st

send submissions to maiamedicine at gmail dot com

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How Does Two Months Pass….

…without me writing here? Fear, self-censorship, unpublished truths. Did I mention fear?

Pero ya, no mas.

Hay que hacer un despojo, una limpieza.

It’s why I’ve moved from dark to light.

The light of the sun kills the parasitic, chases away invisible monsters in closets.

Alli vamos y nos vemos.

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M/others, Mamaz and Community Care-Givers Unite Through Truth-Telling at the AMC

Cross posted with VivirLatino

There were many reasons for my attending the Allied Media Conference, including to see dear friends but I also went to help present, specifically this workshop:

M/others, Mamaz and Community Care-Givers Unite Through Truth-Telling!
Presenters: Rachel Caballero, La Semilla Childcare Collective; China Martens; Future Generation & Don’t Leave Your Friends Behind; Kidz Space; Katina Parker, New Orleans Labor of Love; Maegan “la Mamita Mala” Ortiz, VivirLatino/la Mamita Mala
Facilitator: tk karakashian tunchez, To tell You the Truth/New Mythos Project
TRACK: INCITE! / To Tell You the Truth
M/others (self-identified single, teen and welfare mamaz), mamaz and community caregivers around the country are telling their truths through zines, blogs, printed media, performance work etc, and using this process of truth-telling to create stronger selves, families and communities. In this 3-part, interactive workshop, we will share practical skills and organizing models, then strategize on how we can support each other year-round through a national network of mamaz and community caregivers. Come share your questions and your knowledge with us!

This session will take place in three one hour parts. Part one is a knowledge fair, showcasing the many incredible projects in the room. Part two is a skill share, giving you a chance to learn some specific truth-telling and organizing techniques, including: zine-making, social media, on-the-go-video-how-to, blogging 101, and building a radical childcare collective. Part three is a strategy session for all us m/other, mamaz & community cargegivers in the room to think, dream, strategize, and envision specific ways we can work together over the next year. We will explore questions like; What do we bring to the tables as mamaz? What support do we need? How can we fortify our national community and our families? How can alternative media-making further our movements and transformations?

This session prioritizes the participation of mothers and community care-givers of color, but is open to all.

The session started with TK Karakashian Tunchez, of To tell You the Truth/New Mythos Project introducing the audience to the session, how we got here, who we are are, and what we will be doing; basically laying the foundation.

Continue reading

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Mala’s Morning Musical Meditation

I got the link to this song sent over to VivirLatino pero it’s not really a good fit for that space pero I really was diggin the song so I decided to share it here as I begin this summer filled with all sorts of apprehensions about money and trips and mami’hood.

Por ahora, I am just listening

Drivan “Det gör ingenting” by smalltownsupersound

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Mala’s Summer Appeal: Food, Rent and Netroots

Apologies for taking so long away from my true casita, a space where I blogged for years before I was “buzzworthy” and appearing on talk shows.

As Summer kicks off, I am reminded that as radical single mami media maker being called buzzworthy doesn’t pay my bills, won’t get me to an hermana’s wedding across the country, and doesn’t always make me feel safe. With iron bars secured on the windows of Casa Mala, feeling safe doesn’t trump my burning desire to speak/write out what I live and see in my comunidad. This is what I love and I really believe, even at 33 years old that I am not too old to be somewhat of an idealist and love what I do, love that my work includes mami’ing two amazing ChileRicans, maintaining VivirLatino out of pocket, working with young people, playing with palabras and doing what I can, yes to change this mundo I was born into.

Pero I need help. It’s humbling to admit this, that I am struggling to pay rent, pay my utilities, my metrocard, feed my children and myself while engaged in this hustle called vida. Pero my requests are humble as well.

Through the graciousness of two organizations, I will be attending both the Allied Media Conference this week and Netroots Nation next month. For the Allied Media Conference, I have been reminded of the power of the grassroots and have airfare, housing, and even food taken care of. I still need help for Netroots though.

Democracy For America gave me a scholarship to attend Netroots Nations next month in Las Vegas and are covering my hotel and my conference registration. What they do not cover is airfare, food, or the money I will need to spend on childcare for the weekdays I am away. For those that don’t know, I do all I do while taking care full time of my two hijas, one who is three and is home with me 24/7 (except for when her dad takes her, for a few hours three days a week).

So that is what I am asking for help with.

A trip from NYC to Vegas for Netroots towards the end of July costs about $450

Childcare is about $50

I also would like to eat while at Netroots.

If you have airline miles to donate please let me know (I’m not even sure how that works).

Donations can be sent to my paypal account.


Mil gracias

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Free Range Mami

I was feeling massively aggravated on Sunday. Aggravated because there was laundry that needed to be done. Aggravated because el Chileno doesn’t believe in a visitation schedule and kind of just shows up after he gets done doing what he needs to do, even if that just means sleeping in because he hung out too late the night before. Aggravated because I would rather been at a rally against what the Israeli government did to the Flotilla instead of helping my 12 year old prep for finals even if I wasn’t so keen on the org behind the rally. I wanted a public space to express my anger with my presence, not just typed letters.

My frustration reminded me of my younger mami’hood days. Mami’hood 1.0 if you will, when if I wanted to go to a rally I packed up la Mapu and went. If there was a risk of arrest or if I knew I was going to get arrested, I let my mom know and she would stay with la Mapu. But that was in a different time with a younger, more willing, less tired mother, with a different, more easy-going child and with only one child.

I guiltily wondered, how many mamis were on board the flotilla and how they probably didn’t worry about their kid’s finals or dirty Dora the explorer panties.

I’m often asked how I do it all and most of the time I feel like I do it pretty damn poorly, from mami’ing to organizing, to writing. I feel like I’m always behind, always struggling, always broke. I mean my kids are generally great, smart and aware pero I feel like people are always watching me and not in a creepy please don’t break into my house again way, pero to judge.

I am not the upper middle class mommy writer who leaves her kid alone in the park and gets a ton of media coverage on it (and of course she has a book deal pero that’s a whole different post).

Porque where I live, publicizing leaving my 12 year old kid could get a visit from CPS and then get my kid taken away. Where I live, my sister takes her pre-k class to a puppet show about safety and all the 4 year olds yell that they should not talk to the police officer because where I live it’s been feeling like Phoenix for a long ass time for familias. Where I live, the police knew me at first because my apartment was broken into, but now after seeing me at a few local rallies and marches, they know my kids and I and give us the “you deserved what you got” look.

“free range” is inaccessible, whether that be in the local Associated Supermarket where the free range eggs are $5.00 or in the local park where the mami/vendors hold their children tight next to the shopping carts filled with elotes or bottles of water.

I’m still frustrated that I can’t go to a million meetings and rallies planned this week because I am so broke ass right now and need to work doing something I am not really enjoying at the moment or because poroto is a little more inquieta than her sister and can’t be expected to not run into a line of police officers at a protest.
Everything is measured here, carefully.

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Help Some Mamis Get to the Allied Media Conference

I didn’t write when I posted this to VivirLatino, was the sacred space that the AMC has been for me in many ways. Not even so much because of the work and information exchanged but because it is the only conference where I have not yet had to cry alone, it is a space where I can reconnect with other hermanas I love and usually only communicate with online. Last year, bringing my then 11 year old was powerful for me and for her (although she rarely will admit it), meeting woman whom I refer to as if they were sitting with me everyday made flesh and real.

Cross Posted with VivirLatino

For the last two years, I have been blessed enough to attend the Allied Media Conference and both times my attendance was thanks to the generosity of others. This year, with the conference less than a month away, my attendance feels like an impossibility, especially since I would need expenses covered for myself and my two children who would have to travel with me but miligros do happen and even if not for me, for other amazing mujers whose work I respect.

INCITE! will partner with To Tell You The Truth to host a track of workshops and strategy sessions at the Allied Media Conference, June 17-20, 2010 in Detroit, MI. Read more about the track at http://alliedmediaconference.org/program/tracks.

We need to raise $4,000 to support travel, housing, food and childcare costs for 10 AMAZING mamas, community care-givers and their kids attending the AMC and USSF. Read more about them below. We need your help!

Please support the INCITE/To Tell You The Truth Track by making a donation on the To Tell You The Truth site by following the PayPal link on the bottom right of the page here.

As a thank-you for your donation, you will be entered into a raffle, with the chance to win one of the 2 FABULOUS RAFFLE PACKAGES of Mamas and Feminist of Color Media (described below).

For a $5 donation, you will receive one raffle ticket
For a $20 donation, you will receive five raffle tickets
For a $100 donation or more, you will receive 60 raffle tickets

Make your donation today here!

Raffle Package #1
* An INCITE! T-shirt
* The Gloria Anzaldua Reader by AnaLouise Keating. This reader—which provides a representative sample of the poetry, prose, fiction, and experimental autobiographical writing that Anzaldúa produced during her thirty-year career—demonstrates the breadth and philosophical depth of her work.
* A one-year subscription to Make/Shift magazine. Make/shift creates and documents contemporary feminist culture and action by publishing journalism, critical analysis, and visual and text art. Made by an editorial collective committed to antiracist, transnational, and queer perspectives, make/shift embraces the multiple and shifting identities of feminist communities. We know there’s exciting work being done in various spaces and forms by people seriously and playfully resisting and creating alternatives to systematic oppression. Make/shift exists to represent, participate in, critique, provoke, and inspire more of that good work.
* I Was a . . . Student Nurse! by China. Every page oozes personality: a distrust of science, a vague but persistent spirituality, her own brand of low self-esteem, love for her children and friends, and a constant desire to be anywhere but where she is. And the setting–nursing school–is one we’ve never seen depicted from this angle. (Poems about genetic recombination and stoichiometry? Never saw that coming.) Sometimes we found ourselves screaming (at least in our heads) at China to get over her fear of hospitals. She’s the one who chose nursing school, not us. But it’s China’s ability to cause such reactions that keeps us reading.
* Los Viajes: a literary anthology by POOR Magazine. For a year and a half POOR Magazine conducted free bi-lingual, multi-generational, art and writing workshops in shelters, schools and community centers with migrant poverty scholars from across the globe to be included in the audio and print anthology called Los Viajes..Los Viajes introduces a new lens on migration of peoples across Pacha Mama informed by the UN Declaration on Indigenous Peoples.
* A DVD of Motherland, a Jennifer Steinman film. An honest and intimate look at the complexities of grief and healing, Motherland is about resilience, triumph of the human spirit and the power of unconditional love. It also reminds us of the vastly different ways in which disparate cultures confront deeply felt personal challenges.Each year over eight million families around the world suffer the loss of a child. In Jennifer Steinman’s moving and inspiring documentary film, a 17-day trip to South Africa transforms the lives of six grieving women from across the US.
* Dressy Bessy: holler and stomp – CD
* To tell the Truth Freely by Mia Bay
* Mamaphiles #4 – Raising Hell – Mamaphiles returns for its fourth issue with the theme of “raising hell.” The newest installment includes 34 contributors, including papa zinesters. Check in with your favorite parent zinesters and discover some new favorites as you learn about the many zines that have come out since #3 was released in 2007. In addition to fabulous essays, poems, artwork, and photos, #4 includes comprehensive ordering information about each contributor’s zine. This is all new material, no repeats of the pieces in previous issues. (118 pages, half size)
* “Program a Playshop” Residency at Gris Gris Lab in New Orleans, LA. Program a Playshop is a Gris Gris Lab signature community building residency. Advocates, artists, healers, activists can live and work at GGL for up to 10 days and produce a playshop for the New Orleans Community. Work must involve some aspect of one of these themes: healing work,art, food justice and urban farming, sustainable economics or woman-centered work.

Raffle Package #2
* AN INCITE! T-shirt
* The Gloria Anzaldua Reader by AnaLouise Keating. This reader—which provides a representative sample of the poetry, prose, fiction, and experimental autobiographical writing that Anzaldúa produced during her thirty-year career—demonstrates the breadth and philosophical depth of her work.
* One year-long subscription to Make/Shift Magazine. Make/shift creates and documents contemporary feminist culture and action by publishing journalism, critical analysis, and visual and text art. Made by an editorial collective committed to antiracist, transnational, and queer perspectives, make/shift embraces the multiple and shifting identities of feminist communities. We know there’s exciting work being done in various spaces and forms by people seriously and playfully resisting and creating alternatives to systematic oppression. Make/shift exists to represent, participate in, critique, provoke, and inspire more of that good work.
* Slant by Laura Williams
* The Dancer from Khiva by Bibish. An autobiographical story, this is an unflinchingly honest memoir, The Dancer from Khiva is a true story that offers insight into Central Asian culture through the harrowing experiences of a young girl.
* Mamaphiles #4 – Raising Hell – Mamaphiles returns for its fourth issue with the theme of “raising hell.” The newest installment includes 34 contributors, including papa zinesters. Check in with your favorite parent zinesters and discover some new favorites as you learn about the many zines that have come out since #3 was released in 2007. In addition to fabulous essays, poems, artwork, and photos, #4 includes comprehensive ordering information about each contributor’s zine. This is all new material, no repeats of the pieces in previous issues. (118 pages, half size)
* Discovering Pig Magic by Julia Crabtree
* The Color of Violence INCITE! Anthology – What would it take to end violence against women of color? How does the mainstream antiviolence movement help? How does it hinder? When will we admit that repositioning women of color at the center of the movement— women more often harmed by the police, prisons, and border patrols than aided by them— means that we must address state violence?
* Once You Go Back by Douglas Martin
* Hermana, Resist : The Poetry Collection: “…media can be yours/and you can write your own history.” – Noemi Martinez. Authored and compiled by Noemi Martinez of Hermana, Resist this zine is breathtakingly beautiful and contains poems from 2000-2007.
* Resistance is a Duty! and other essays by comrades from Action Directe – Kersplebedeb
* I Was a . . . Student Nurse! by China. Every page oozes personality: a distrust of science, a vague but persistent spirituality, her own brand of low self-esteem, love for her children and friends, and a constant desire to be anywhere but where she is. And the setting–nursing school–is one we’ve never seen depicted from this angle. (Poems about genetic recombination and stoichiometry? Never saw that coming.) Sometimes we found ourselves screaming (at least in our heads) at China to get over her fear of hospitals. She’s the one who chose nursing school, not us. But it’s China’s ability to cause such reactions that keeps us reading.
* The Astonishment: Banana Sandwich

A subscription to make/shift magazine, one of the great raffle prizes!
This raffle is made possible with support from: Gris Gris Lab, New Mythos project (To tell you the Truth), INCITE!, Feminist Review!, Allied Media Projects (AMP)
Continue reading

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Poema Para Arizona : Los Pies Adentros

No son los zapatos,
Sino los pies adentros.

Shoes were things mami and abuela before her never skimped on,
Even if we didn’t have socks
Or the socks had holes.
El pie
Each pie
Was unique enough to deserve it’s own special casing
That eventually would take the form of it’s wearer
Y ahora nos preocupamos de zapatos y papeles.

Es que ellos no saben que la magia es en los pies
no en el cuero
tampoco en la suela.
Cada uno de los diez dedos
estan cansados de trabajar en las tierras ancestrales
Y en las maquiladoras
Sueñan de los tiempos de baile and juegos de niños.
Ahora se colaboran
Kilometro por polvoroso kilometro
Caminando hacia algo prometido
Hacia la sobrevivencia
Marchando por la libertad
Corriendo de la injustica
Cantando viejas canciones de cuna
En lenguas denominadas ilegales.

Si nos identifican por los zapatos
Dejamos los zapatos a un lado
Al lado de los caminos ya hechos
Y las que se van a hacer al andar.
Forzándolos a mirar las arrugas
Incrustadas con historias y cuentos
Forzándolos mirar las unas
Pintadas de colores del arcoíris del sueno.
They don’t know
That the magic is in our feet
That we will now use to fight
A luchar
A marchar sobre la planeta que fue brindado a nosotros hermanos
Porque nos miran los zapatos
Sin entender que la magia es en los pies.

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